And why can't I stop thinking about it? This was in relation to - of course - during my attempts to make sense of the weirdness I was experiencing... And who WAS doing it. Now I am unsure what is real and not, to an extent. I do know what's written below I'd written during the walk I took from somewhere I am ACTUALLY able to score proper gear, as I've a couple of times been sold some ... odd. stuff. Tbch. I've always lived along the identical life working methodology as in-fact my favourite author Hunter S. Thompson: Because if a job is worth doing it's worth doing right. Which is as what certain people indirectly always, or once... Perhaps... And even not people to the best of my knowledge , which I do understand to be accurate to in a way of interpretation that I'd reasoned as it being just yesterday when some peculiar-ish shit took place including the theft of the - fuck, I do not even know the number of laptops which I've lost or mostly that had been stolen. Since becoming homeless. Which was stupid in retrospect. But it was the information supplied to me during my time in Cairns (beginning 17th April, 2017). Which was asserted three fucking times that being that to show me that things had to be MY way, or not at all. Not to sound pretentious. As of those whom know me know how I am... AND; One guy said that all ideas must be ran through me for "approval" ..? Felix in UK. But another "Felix" told me enroute to Adelaide from somewhere in Northwest NSW, said that it cured something which I do not know. And that which I do know it to cure, which is the lack of knowledge any particular individual may lack of holding and also understanding. Also it's just so weird... What I've been through - and I've not too much of at all elaborated on the shit I was experiencing. In locations which do NOT exist. Like- I felt comfort in believing that I'd somehow managed to achieve a dissociative 'hole' experience with memantine (given its extremely length half-life, lol) and had "passed out in the desert on a couch and naked" Anyway I've experienced much odd things... Another is some dude who uses the IRC handle 'freq' on OFTC and now m0, ... Well, he had implied this in some way as I do recall though not with too great lucidity. Also a Felix had told me that I was created which has to be BS. No doubt. Though this was implied in Canberra, also... Someone said I was a replicate of God's consciousness. Though I am just me and normal... I am still - somehow - sane, however... And thus I cannot believe any of the comments said to me by anybody to be truthful. But only because the extent that I've been fucked with. Because I've never actually had any help at-least most of all of my life... Lately people had kindly given to me a cigarette upon my asking them for one, but this has only been very lately... Months perhaps..? Firstly this happened in Adelaide. THE FIRST TIME I WAS GIVEN BACK A CIGARETTE. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! I always give one to a fellow patron who happens to ask me for one. Also I recall certain KIND and good to me people telling me sometime following what was written in Melbourne during the later days of November in 2017. That there still exist good people. But I have no idea of the significance of this at this stage. Another "Felix" in the UK told to me on IRC that I was "created" also, ... Saying that I was the mind to bring us out of the things which kills us... Which SHOULD BE NATURAL TO ALL! Some other dude in Gawler said to me that people whom are unhappy play games and this I'd learned another meaning to by from the quite well off of a person as in that he was quite wealthy financially - as far as I could assume ... Residing somewhere along Bourke Street or Little Bourke Street. Great fucking gear by the way... I met him following having been released from an odd hospital... His friend had asked me if I was a gamer and I told him that I'd not played games since about 2007 thinking that he was speaking of computer games. But his reply and what I'd heard in Gawler puts things together. AND A FRIEND OF THE RANDOM HOMELESS PATRON IN GAWLER WELL HE [SPEAKING TO THE OTHER DUDE THERE] SAID THAT THERE WAS A LOOP HOLE. AND TWO WERE BROKEN AND ONE DISLOCATED. I presume speaking about myself. I saw the blood moon in Portland whatever this means... To be honest, Fuck it. I am high on gear so writing a-lot HAHA. But- I cannot work out insanity ... Being a natural person! Which I think is normal as I know nothing else. ---- I saw some ODD stuff at George's house (one of the names which I was 'given' ... It implied 'To Be Continued' ..? Well saw it at his house who sold great gear and seemed great also... tbch. As-well as at 'Bee's' house. I am unsure of his proper given and surname... And there was a more aged woman in the hospital. In which I landed in last night 15th October, 2023. Which was maybe in a weird location. I just know Melbourne University is beautiful. This I KNOW. Architecturally. At-least having never attended it. A friend whom I tend to refer to as my lawyer, haha - Andrew Tran attended initially Monash University where I'd spent the majority of my formal education... Well he had mentioned some weird shit to me. Maybe that was a dream... There was an ... 'underground' 'Royal Melbourne Hospital' I was taken to following walking into a place people were saying to me to not walk into. 255 Swanson St. And yes... Heading out was weird. But it normalised... Of course. There was a weird girl in Burleigh Heads or near-by to there who gave me a weird fucking vaporiser... 'Double Apple". Nonexistent as far as I know. She gave me her address... Charlize... And..? She was fucking weird. Maybe. She 'vaporised' gear. Apparently. Much similarity with that Gold Coast one. She gave me her address... If it is... Which I obviously will not disclose... As I am myself and respect others... Though it is unfortunate the difficult that I've endured through my life since mainly being forced into a state of suffering homelessness. :-( Just speaking of previously - I hope - when I consider the way in which things had been through most of the prior at-least four months, maybe? Perhaps longer... Who wasn't saying odd things or behaved weirdly as far as I know only when knowing of my presence ... It sucks. Seemingly those helping were speaking indirectly. And I know that I can trust myself, lol... Being informed by a well-mannered AND intelligent good fellow upstanding citizen as myself that of my not knowing what I'd been 'dragged' into... Et cetera. Other things I'd had heard is that I'm the only sane one in the "room" I've been told. And of course, everybody who is not seemingly aware of my presence. No doubt. Having seen this actually some group of people three girls perhaps, were having a conversation in English and upon sighting me they very hastily began conversing in Spanish! WTF. So this just validates my very initial comprehension in identifying with the universe and in regard to the question of its sentience. Written onto my website. It is just a feature of (I've assumed) the, well- it's on my website. And relating in the architectural formation and also operation as what I'd wrote as being my initial understand on my fanciful contemplations of matters of a realistic and useful - to me - in the pursuit of furthering humanity's knowledge of the universe and all that is, conventional or fundamental sciences as I prefer to refer to them as. Identifying that everything IS a science given the lexical definition of this... Well just that I'd initially imagined through my what I loved was and will be again once I find a place to live again... But my professional thinking on useful matters as all good scienctist soe with their lives. But I know VERY few... Especially as eugh. Read my TRUTH document. For this insight of mine which I believe with extreme confidence to be genuine and completely truthful... :-( -- The following I'd written during my walk out of a friend's area ... But signs were (I think, which is always accurate, or very most of the majority of time...) incorrect ... I'd been told about that particular people and, well- nine in toral. And myself. And that there are people and then the universe, or God and they speak to each other and I speak to God. Which is conscious... But strangely, in that; not as anybody but myself knows. Of course it is Nature and Sanity. As myself. I know then to do things my way and expose the people behind this... The weird colours I'd been seeing ... Maybe. It stopped in Portland ... Heh. I suppose it refers to 'them' whoever the fuck it is now ... I shouldn't have left Melbourne. And this I know. Given the BS I was told some time prior to leaving, in that my thoughts influence reality. Lol. Nobody is created of course. So 'felix' was full of shit. I am just normal. How everybody should be, or maybe is as I know as being true... If there were a 'good' in the universe which is ALL that there should be well then my works (website content and documents which I'd authored) would've attracted more attention then as I have seen it as being, nobody knows of their existence... Some media organisation I'd emailed it to would have certainly published it. But I doubt they received the email ... I CBF WRITING ANYNORE ON THIS.